DAD I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told you I would be okay, I am going to get my nursing license even if it takes 10 years like I said. I love you!!!!!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Happy Vetrans Day
so my stomach isn't hurting anymore. I think right after the last post I had a dream, quite possibly even that night.
We were at the house after you passed away like we were in real life, running around the house cleaning it for mom, sorting through your clothes ect. but you were there sitting in your chair. None of us knew what to say to you because we knew you were dead but you sat there like you weren't. So I started to leave the house and you asked if I was coming back later because you had something to ask me. I went over to you and said I'm right here dad what is it? You started talking to me about the pacemaker having questions about it and you were scared, a little after that you and I were sitting at the table and everyone was still cleaning and running around being busy and you asked me something and I turned to you and took your hand and looked at you and said that you were already dead. You said I thought it was something like that. Looked into my eyes, smiled, squezzed my hand and then walked out.
I woke up and had Robert hold me and then finally dad, the tears came. I sat on the couch in the livingroom and just cried and Robert came out and sat next to me and just held my hand. I think I was telling myself in the dream that you are dead... that it's ok. My stomach got better each day after that because those emotions stopped being bottled up inside. I cry every once and awhile now, not a lot, just if I think of you and miss you I cry, but it's no longer trapped inside me. It's vetrans day today, I miss you. You missed the elections, I'm glad... that alone would have given you a heart attack!
I have good news. I had a lead from Amber about the care home right behind my apartment, that's how she went through the CNA program. SO I popped in and asked if they were hiring, I thought if I got in as an aide, or laundry, or cafeteria... but no they were hiring for the CNA program. They pay for the CNA class, meanwhile putting me to work helping with the arts and crafts and projects to get to know the patients before working as a CNA and then after the class I would be working for them as a CNA. So I turned in a aplication, resume, Jess helped me with my cover letter, and the next day I got a call about an interview. I've gone to the interview now and am waiting to hear back which would be in the next few days. I was going to be with mom already in Taft, but if I get it the orientation is Friday so I have to wait around to hear. I think I got it but I don't want to get my hopes up too high.
I also turned in my FAFSA to see about getting financial aide for college. I am going to call the College tomorrow, I qualify for some help but I don't know what. Even if it's just the Bog to cover the costs of my classes that would help, then I would cover the books and fees. I don't know if I have to pay all the fees if I'm just taking 1 class, but it's like 100 dollars of fees alone. I have 3 prerequisite classes I have to take but they are pretty heavy duty so I would like to just do 1 per semester, atleast since I will be working full-time. If I don't get the job I will go do those 3 classes next semester. Either way I want you to know I am moving forward dad, and it seems like everything is falling into place. When I interviewed she got it, the fact that I haven't been working lately because I was giving the family priority, what I needed to do, but now it's time to move forward into a career, not a job, a career that I want to do!
I love you dad, I know your proud of me, but it would be nice to be able to tell you in person or on the phone and hear you respond back. Miss you!!! Happy Vetrans Day!
We were at the house after you passed away like we were in real life, running around the house cleaning it for mom, sorting through your clothes ect. but you were there sitting in your chair. None of us knew what to say to you because we knew you were dead but you sat there like you weren't. So I started to leave the house and you asked if I was coming back later because you had something to ask me. I went over to you and said I'm right here dad what is it? You started talking to me about the pacemaker having questions about it and you were scared, a little after that you and I were sitting at the table and everyone was still cleaning and running around being busy and you asked me something and I turned to you and took your hand and looked at you and said that you were already dead. You said I thought it was something like that. Looked into my eyes, smiled, squezzed my hand and then walked out.
I woke up and had Robert hold me and then finally dad, the tears came. I sat on the couch in the livingroom and just cried and Robert came out and sat next to me and just held my hand. I think I was telling myself in the dream that you are dead... that it's ok. My stomach got better each day after that because those emotions stopped being bottled up inside. I cry every once and awhile now, not a lot, just if I think of you and miss you I cry, but it's no longer trapped inside me. It's vetrans day today, I miss you. You missed the elections, I'm glad... that alone would have given you a heart attack!
I have good news. I had a lead from Amber about the care home right behind my apartment, that's how she went through the CNA program. SO I popped in and asked if they were hiring, I thought if I got in as an aide, or laundry, or cafeteria... but no they were hiring for the CNA program. They pay for the CNA class, meanwhile putting me to work helping with the arts and crafts and projects to get to know the patients before working as a CNA and then after the class I would be working for them as a CNA. So I turned in a aplication, resume, Jess helped me with my cover letter, and the next day I got a call about an interview. I've gone to the interview now and am waiting to hear back which would be in the next few days. I was going to be with mom already in Taft, but if I get it the orientation is Friday so I have to wait around to hear. I think I got it but I don't want to get my hopes up too high.
I also turned in my FAFSA to see about getting financial aide for college. I am going to call the College tomorrow, I qualify for some help but I don't know what. Even if it's just the Bog to cover the costs of my classes that would help, then I would cover the books and fees. I don't know if I have to pay all the fees if I'm just taking 1 class, but it's like 100 dollars of fees alone. I have 3 prerequisite classes I have to take but they are pretty heavy duty so I would like to just do 1 per semester, atleast since I will be working full-time. If I don't get the job I will go do those 3 classes next semester. Either way I want you to know I am moving forward dad, and it seems like everything is falling into place. When I interviewed she got it, the fact that I haven't been working lately because I was giving the family priority, what I needed to do, but now it's time to move forward into a career, not a job, a career that I want to do!
I love you dad, I know your proud of me, but it would be nice to be able to tell you in person or on the phone and hear you respond back. Miss you!!! Happy Vetrans Day!
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